So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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