Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
