You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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