No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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