Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
