he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
