Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
