I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
