I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
