Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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