The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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