You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
