I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
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Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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