Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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