Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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