Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
grandma shit on top of the toilet
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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