how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
