I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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