You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just found puke in my bra..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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