apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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