I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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