ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
