But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
