we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
