Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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