It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Someone signed my nipple.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
