she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize