ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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