I'm going to jail i love you
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
