Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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