have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
