Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
