I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The feeling are messing with the penis
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
