hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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