yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
