Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
