i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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