Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.

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(603): five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon. http://tfl.nu/sqt2

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(847): View more from Illinois

Why did you take off so early

(224): View more from Illinois

No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.

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(847): Why did you take off so early (224): No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know. http://tfl.nu/xucj

Replies (7) Good night (4424) Bad night (397)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.

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(815): Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic. http://tfl.nu/2mbo

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(513): View more from Ohio

You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

(513): View more from Ohio

and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

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(513): You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god. (513): and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon. http://tfl.nu/ae2p

Replies (21) Good night (5379) Bad night (940)
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(276): View more from Virginia

Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

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(276): Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles http://tfl.nu/8prl

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(330): View more from Ohio

I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential

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(330): I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential http://tfl.nu/2wmk

Replies (5) Good night (2991) Bad night (880)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.

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(248): I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together. http://tfl.nu/x99f

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(817): View more from Texas

Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

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(817): Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool http://tfl.nu/oo5b

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(303): View more from Colorado

How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?

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(303): How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head? http://tfl.nu/wek5

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(336): View more from North Carolina

By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"

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(336): By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student" http://tfl.nu/w2vs

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.

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(724): You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails. http://tfl.nu/klfg

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Love me.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just for one nugget?

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(508): Love me. (781): GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS. (508): Just for one nugget? http://tfl.nu/9y03

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(778): View more from British Columbia

On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?

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(778): On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check? http://tfl.nu/1mv7

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus

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(774): I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus http://tfl.nu/kps3

Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (654)
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(317): View more from Indiana

This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.

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(317): This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me. http://tfl.nu/qrey

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