As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
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You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
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When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
this hospital has no fireball
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.