He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.