hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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