I'm jealous of your bromance
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
