new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
