I'm jealous of your bromance
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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