I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
