would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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