fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
