I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
