Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
In America we eat man semen.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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