Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.