It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it