WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.