turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?