Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.