I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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