But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
we're so committed to being not committed
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
