after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize