I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
