my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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