I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
id be glad to
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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