I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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