Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think people are normalizing furries
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
