and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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