i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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