In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize