P.S. I can't hear my feet
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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