im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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